Actually enjoying work??

Over these past few days I have been quite surprised — in a good way — to find that I am enjoying what I have created for myself in returning to work.  True, it’s not the same experience of waking up whenever I want, sitting outside enjoying the sun, spending time during the day painting, exploring, visiting with family and friends.  No more afternoon naps. 

And yet I find that I am almost excited – at least feeling a new sense of energy and hopefulness – at having the opportunity to create something new within the organization.  This is an opportunity I created by choosing to leave and take a break.  By taking a break I gave myself the time and space to relax, to move at a difference pace.  By taking a break, my colleagues had the opportunity to evaluate what was really important to them.  Did they want to complete the project; was it meaningful for the organization?  When I started thinking about returning to work, I became clear about what I needed in order for my role to be meaningful to me, and as it turns out, my boss and others agreed. 

In my experience during this first week back, people seem excited at the framework I am creating, at seeing what may be possible for the portfolio, for their teams, and even for them within a larger context and longer term view. 

It’s been a great experience this week and definitely different from what I was expecting.   And while I was sure I didn’t want to work, and equally sure that I needed to, I allowed myself to take the time, space and stillness to just breathe and listen for came up within me.  And in this moment, I know that the process of breathing and listening has given me this current experience, which is obviously what I need in this moment.  Yet another example of learning there are so many possibilities.  I can paint and experience people valuing my art.  I can work in a “job” where I have the space to create something and enjoy my time there.  Who knew?

It all makes me excited to see else I can create and experience as possible for me!

I posted some beautiful pictures of deep & textured evening sky I experienced a few nights ago.  For those who may be interested, you can view it at:

What do I want?

It’s funny how a word in an email or conversation can trigger a new wave of thinking and exploring for me.  A friend sent me an email, and I don’t even remember the exact wording, but in reference to a discussion with her mother about what is coming next, the response was that each person will continue as they choose, as they want. 

And this got me to thinking, what do I really want?  I was sure I had a ready and detailed answer.  And to my surprise, I didn’t.  So I’ve been spending time really considering what I am creating for myself today, and what do I want to create next, who else may I become?  I’ve been having fun sitting with this question  and it makes me smile when I remember that while I have put some language to what I want, there is more to come.  There’s always more.

If you are interested in reading more, below is what I have written about the process of exploring what I want.

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